10 Ways to Focus on Making Marriage Holy (Not Just Happy)

4. Role-play, God’s way.

The Bible gives clear descriptions of the sacred roles the husband and wife are to play in marriage. Roles are not meant to be burdensome or oppressive. I recognize the culture kicks back against these roles, but I believe God provided them as a means of responsibility, function, and protection. It’s not a matter of competition or ruling over another, but rather of coming together for God’s holy purposes and glory.

Biblically, the husband is to assume the role of loving, Christ-like leadership, showing sensitivity, compassion, understanding, mercy, and forgiveness, and providing selfless service—building up and supporting the wife. The husband loves and protects his wife so she can find joy in following God’s design, and become a strong woman of God, a godly manager of the home and family, and an intentional servant of the Lord in her various spheres of influence.

Men and women are first to submit to God, and then practice God-ordained submission to others in the Body of Christ. In addition, emulating the role of the church, the wife assumes the voluntary role of loving submission to and respect for her own husband. She does not seek to manipulate, control, or emasculate him. Her role is not equated to subservience or lack of wisdom and strengths, but rather to recognizing God’s authority and her husband’s God-given authority in the home. The wife uses her varied skills to respectfully help her husband, encouraging him to lead wisely and well. 

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