Mothers day is a day many find difficult.
But I still believe mothers should both be celebrated and be given the freedom to celebrate.
Yes, we need to be mindful and thoughtful – but we shouldn’t make mothers and children feel guilty as they celebrate what is good.
We should celebrate birth mothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, God mothers and step mothers. In fact, anyone who has a hand in mothering not just children today, but have mothered those now grown up (and probably continue to!)
I was mothered by many ‘Aunts’, some of whom were not related, but were still key people in my life’s journey. I am so grateful for their input into my life.
I’m a step mother and I consider my stepsons to be a rich and wonderful inheritance – and a credit to their (not forgotten) birth mum. I am proud of them both – not just for achievements but for who they are, the way they care and the lovely young men they have grown to be. Having lost their mum in a car accident a long time ago, I am sure the pain still hits them today. But being the lovely gentle souls they are, I see them allowing others celebrate in spite of the inevitable pain.
I am also a God mother and incredibly proud of all my God children. I consider it a privilege to God parent them – a privilege I don’t take lightly.
The mum of one of my God daughters gave me the gift of knowing my value as a God parent a few weeks back on Facebook. I was finding it hard seeing the latest ‘pass it on’ craze of being nominated to post your three favourite pictures of your children. My friend didn’t nominate – instead she named all those people who had been influential in the life of her daughter. Thankyou friend – you know who you are!The card above is one that arrived yesterday from my other God children – now sitting in full view on the mantlepiece!
Yes, Mother’s day is painful. Because of circumstances and events beyond my control, ‘motherhood’ as a ‘birth parent’ has not been a gift I have been given. But I am happy to celebrate with my friends when they either give birth to or adopt their children.
But being adopted myself, there is one group of mothers I really feel for on mother’s day – those who have given their children up for adoption. In the days of my adoption, many young mothers were forced to give up their babies, and as I sit here typing I am very aware of the pain and ache my birth mother must feel every mother’s day – even in spite of the circumstances of my conception. And yet she gave my adoptive mum the fabulous gift of motherhood. Out of the pain of loss for one mother came the joy of motherhood for another. This is not lost on me.
I am thankful for the fact my adoptive mum brought me up knowing that my adoption was out of love and not rejection – that has been a valuable bedrock to grow up on. Something not all adopted children know.
So today, I am mindful of those in pain, but I also celebrate the gift of motherhood – in ALL its forms.